Wednesday, March 19, 2014

The Things Men Say

I have been on a popular free dating site (OkCupid) for a few months now and have interacted with some interesting people... I figure there is NO WAY these guys could be serious, how could these things said to me or things they put in the profile possibly be getting them dates!? I have realized that these men cant possibly be getting dates and I must share these messages with the world! I'm going to dedicate this post to the weird s*#t men have said to me in messages, later we can talk about the profiles!

This guys message would have made more sense if he used proper punctuation, or any punctuation at all.. Also I'm not sure what he thought he would accomplish by telling me his weight, but no sir I don't want to date you:

This Guy I'm not even sure how to take.. Was he being serious? Is this a poem? Did he have a stroke? All of these questions have gone unanswered because I was not going down the road of engaging him in conversation:

One sure fire way to make sure I don't respond to you is to only comment on my body in your message to me. I will assume if you message me then you are physically attracted to me.. lets move past that to something more substantial if you really want a response:

I'll give this guy a little credit he was being creative with his message but it still doesn't make me want to date him!:

I guess this guy figured every little thing we had in common meant I must want to go out on a date with him, he figured wrong:

This guys profile actually wasn't that bad, it was his lack of self esteem that turned me off:

I think this guy really really wanted to connect with me. However I felt like he might either kidnap me or extort money. I know that i'm being insensitive based on him being from out of the country but come on, what other "strong reason" do we need to speak?!:

I guess this guy figures if he asks for directions on how to set up his profile I must want to date him! Um no, I would like people to know how to work a computer first. Also that fact that you only date black girls is great for you, I don't need to know that.

If I don't respond to your first message, trying again with text speak won't get you any further!

I want to end this post on a better note.. not all the guys out there on online dating sites are the absolute worse.. there was a lot of nice, not creepy messages I received, even some that led to dates! I'll end with this note, its nice when a guy just wants to pay you a compliment. Nothing else to it but saying hey, I think your nice and said not in a creepy way! Men take note:

 Until next time.. i'm sure my inbox is chopped full of new creepy messages and maybe one or two nice ones!


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  3. These messages are mostly tame. after reading I feel I was misled by the meme picture at the top.

    A brief summary of my unsolicited thoughts
    Zero Punctuation / 190 pounds guy was telling you he isn't fat in case you couldn't see from pictures I assume.
    Self Esteem guy is just overly courteous, his ideas on wooing women is from another a nobler time than ours.
    Poetry guy you should have given a shot, a craftsman of words, a word-smith delivers unto you a rhapsody in prose and you gave no reply? Shame on you, you uncouth wench.

    Anyway good luck and count yourself lucky for being female, for were you otherwise you would also have to struggle to actually think of interesting ways to grab the attention of someone who is undeservedly inundated with messages through no redeeming characteristic save for being of the opposite sex.

    Bon chance,
    Gruntled Reader

    1. Thank you Gruntled Reader for your unsolicited thoughts.. Sorry these were a little to tame for your liking. I guess that is the beauty of opinion, you see these in my opinion wasnt great. Anyway I have struggled to come up with messages and reached out to guys, the beauty about internet dating is it goes both ways, and if someone doesnt think my messages are great enough for them they have the same rights as I do to just not respond. I have attempted to tell some of these guys im not interested in a polite and respectful way that ended up going down a negative path on their end.

      Thanks and good luck on your journey, what ever that may be!