Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Meeting the first guy
So now that the profile is done and I've been on the site for about a month and I was starting to get a steady stream of messages.. In early December I got an interesting message from a really cute guy lets call him Mr.A, as in Mr. Asshole. Mr. A messaged me and said something along the lines of "I like your profile, I think we have some things in common. Lets explore getting to know each other" It was innocent enough, or so I thought.. I proceeded to message Mr. A back letting him know sure I would like to get to know him, I thought his pictures were cute and his profile made him sound pretty normal and interesting.. after only a few (2-3) messages he asked for my number, as this was one of the first guys online I met I was a little apprehensive about just handing out my cell number. When I told him that his message got a little hostel, that should have been red flag #1 to stop all communications there but I thought hell he was normal until now I'll give it a go.. I gave him my number and a time frame to call me in and figured if he was weird I could just use the fancy block feature on the IPhone and would never have to hear from him again..
So later that night we talk, he seemed jaded but normal.. He was new to the area and didn't seem to be adjusting well. I didn't think much of it because not everyone has moved around like me and not everyone adjusted to their new surroundings right away. After talking on the phone for about an hour we decided to meet up for coffee, just so we could meet, feel each other out and put faces (not just pictures) to the voices. The plan was to meet somewhere between our two towns after work just briefly.. I chose the place and we went for it.
Day of our meeting, I was pretty nervous, it had been years since I was in the dating pool and had to go through first dates, first meetings or first anything. I was also still pretty newly natural so I was self conscious about my hair and how men would respond to it. I should have known from the time he showed up late that this wouldn't end well, red flag #2. When he sat down at the table he seemed standoffish and annoyed sitting back with his arms crossed, I immediately went on defense, red flag #3. I should have getting up and left the table when was of his first questions to me was: "Do you draw on your eyebrows?", I should have walked away when he talked in disgust about natural hair, I then should have poured my drink on him and stormed out when he went on a tangent about the "Gay epidemic" in DC (many of my friends are homosexual).. Somehow for what ever reason I let this meeting continue on. It got worse and worse as the night went on. He found multiple ways to insult me as we made idol chit chat and was able to convince me that he hated his own life. The whole time i'm thinking how could someone this cute be this crazy, are there cameras set up somewhere, is someone playing a joke on me?! This horrible first meeting ended with him saying something to the effect of "now you can go tell people i'm normal and we can do this again." Sorry buddy you are far from what I would call normal and I would rather pluck out my non drawn on eyebrows one by one than go out with you again. After a very awkward hug I sped home to update my friends on how horrible the night went.
Is this what i have to look forward to? Is online dating full of guys who have had horrible experiences in their dating lives and wanted to make other people feel bad about themselves? Or maybe I should go with my gut when something doesn't feel right in the message exchange online. After a heart felt group text with a few of my closest friends I decided not to let this get to me, I will not let one asshole (Mr.A) ruin my online dating experience. For now the search to my happily ever after continues.