Being fancy doesn't have to be expensive!

So if you asked anyone for facts about me, the first thing they would say is "She likes nice things, but she knows how to save"! I have a few vices to say the least, I love shopping, I love eating, I loving doing stuff but I don't make a ton of money. So with all those things combined I have become quite the shopping savvy diva. I have a ton of money saving tips up my sleeve but I'll dedicate this post to activities.

Recently I decided to take an actual, turn my phone off/don't respond to emails, vacation. I made the promise to myself that I would celebrate my 30th birthday anywhere that wasn't in the US.. I knew right away I wanted something fun, exciting and wouldn't break the bank...I first started with the vacation sites: Applvacations.com, vacationexpress.com and cheapcaribbean.com Then I took a look to all of my basic deal sites: Travelzoo.com; Livingsocial.com; groupon.com.. Now don't get me wrong the deal sites aren't for the faint of heart, sometimes you have to be really spontaneous and know what you generally want to accomplish. For me spontaneity is just what I needed, I had put some money away so i had a budget and a date everything else was open for planning..

I kept my eyes open on a few sites for a few weeks and then up popped a four night deal at a fantastic little resort in Negril, Jamaica.. Now for $200 for 4 nights you would think the place would be a dump, however after looking at Trip Advisor reviews I was convinced that it wasnt that bad, it was actually a pretty awesome resort right on the beach and around all the action. When it came time to find a flight of course i went to all the majors fly.com, priceline.com and expedia.com but per usual Southwest (who doesnt list their prices on those sites) was the cheapest option.. they were having a fair sale.

I wish I had some amazing tips for you like: only look for airline tickets on tuesday at 2pm.. but I dont. For me its put the money aside, make a general plan and be prepared to jump on a deal the moment you see it.. Maybe my next vacation will be more thought out and planned, maybe not.. but for now enjoy some of my vacation pictures from a trip that cost me less than $500 total! :)

Body image issues

It's no secret that like most women I suffer from some issues in how I see my body.. Even in high school I was a size 6/8 and I thought I was beastly, now as an adult I'm about twice that size and its not making me feel any better naked. Ive tried so many things.. Ive juiced, I've done weight watchers and working out never gets fun like all those weird skinny girls say it will.. I even decided to sign up for a 5K and thought putting my money on the line would get me motived to get my act together... nope, I still try and work out but its not as consistent as it should be.

So recently I've decided to look at myself differently, to embrace the body I'm in now and not hate myself until I get where beauty standards tell me I'm supposed to be..

It wasn't an easy task, I didn't wake up one day and say "I love the skin I'm in". This took time, it took maturity and it took self confidence that i didn't have before. People in my life tried to tell me I was beautiful, my body was one that men desired, that I wasn't fat I was "thick". Men in my life have always praised my body, even my trip to Jamaica helped me see that others don't see my figure the way I do.. Yet I still saw myself as the chubby little girl used to get bullied in elementary and middle school..

However I did wake up one day and wonder what good it would do to continue to hate myself.. Im too old to still hold on to the issues of my 14 year old self. I figure its time to start listening to all of those inspirational quotes I post daily.. I can continue to work on myself but I will love myself every step of the way in the mean time. Now I embrace my thighs, my stomach, my arms.. I know that I'm not in the best shape of my life, but dammit it could be worse and no matter the jiggle I'm still beautiful! For the first time in a LONG time, I looked at a picture of myself in a bathing suit and thought "DAMN that girl looks good"!

What Ive learned and the little nugget of knowledge i want to share is, if your struggling with your self image, with body issues, no amount of praise from others will change the way you feel about yourself. You have to be happy with the way god made you, and know that you are who you are, the way you are, for a reason.. and that has to be good enough!

In the spirit of not making this a super serious post have a little fun and enjoy this song that i can't seem to get out of my head. Listen to the words of wisdom from Meghan Trainor:  "Momma she told me don't worry about your size, she says boys like a little more booty to hold at night!"  Enjoy! All About That Bass

Finding your passion

One morning when driving into work a segment on the radio really got me thinking about life. The segment was on branding yourself and finding your online presence but one statement the guest made is what really got me thinking. She said "If you are going to start a blog, vlog or anything of the sort find 3-4 topics your really passionate about and do those". I started thinking, what am I really passionate about? How could I turn those passions into my life work? What am I doing daily to fulfill those passions? So i started where any modern day girl will start... I went to Google! One of the first sites I came across was one of my go to's for everything, WikiHow.com. Wiki How will walk you step by step through anything you would ever want to know.. from how to fix something, to how to cook something, to how to find your passion in life.

The Wiki article had three methods in which people could use to discover (or rediscover) what their passions are.. I decided on this method: Method 2 of 3: Use Your Interests to Your Advantage. I started thinking, what am i interested in? What brings me joy? What makes me feel like i'm really making a difference in this world? Well there are a few things.. I't interested in crafts, I often hand make items for my home, my friends, my family. I'm interested in helping others, when i'm helping people figure out their life paths, helping students prep for college and things along those lines I feel as though i am leaving my "footprint in the sand", I am also interested in people in general (hence the Sociology degree) I just don't know where that last one would take me... I sat and pondered over these questions for days and got no where. Welp back to good ole Google I thought.. I came across multiple website that gave me some steps to finding my passion. these are the ones that struck me:

• Slow down. I have always expected things in life to happen when I wanted them to happen but as I got older I've learned that when you slow down and let life happen it starts to reveal new things to you. 

• Be confident. I have struggled for years with confidence. Confidence in my looks, confidence in my self and confidence in my work, at some point in my life I had to tell myself "If I don't believe in me why should anyone else". Now don't get me wrong it took me years to build up that confidence but now that I have it is the best tool in my toolbox. 

• Find themes in my life. What are those common occurrences in my life that that bring me joy? What am I drawn to over and over again? Even what areas of life seem to be full of discomfort and pain that could use changing? Once I really sat down and thought these things through it gave me some clarity on what I could be working toward. 

• Write about it. This is where my blogging comes in, I am taking you all on this journey with me to find my passions, to do what I love, to re-discover myself! So you will see as I am doing things through trial and error, making mistakes and going on new journeys. 

• Stop waiting. Its so easy to say, I'll change careers when the time is right, or i'll go after my dreams when I have more money, well the truth is there may never be a right time or enough money. I need to make tomorrow happen today and realize that the only person holding me back from my dreams is ME. 

With all that said, i'm still working at discovering and bringing my passions to light, but now I have a clearer path.

Advice to my future daughter

As I'm staring into the last two months of my twenties its hit me that I have wasted a lot of my life on things that I wish I had someone to advise me otherwise on.. I am really grateful for the things my mother has taught me but I feel like there are some areas of my life I could have been more prepared for. I know sometimes I joke with friends about all the bad advice my mother has given me like; "only whores shave above the knee" or "Tampons are are for fast women" but as I hit these life milestones I start to think about the things I want to make sure I tell my future daughter..

• Your hair does not define you- Going natural was one of the best hair decisions of my life, and believe me that yellow weave in high school will tell you I had some bad ones! But once I finally realized that the relaxed hair, lace fronts, high lights, or curls did not make me a better or worse person. It wasn't until I felt beautiful in all hair that I could truly embrace my natural state.. I will make sure my future little girl know, shes beautiful no matter what and hair should be her decision not societies. 

• Every adult woman should know how to prepare at least one single girl dish and maintain a stocked kitchen- This is one lesson I didn't really get until I stopped living like a college student. Eating out can get expensive and cause extra pounds on the scale! Every woman should know how to whip up a "cooking for the man for the first time meal" and should always have ingredients in her fridge to feed herself at a moments notice. 

• Saving is easier the earlier you start - Don't wait until your thirty (or damn near) to start paying into a 401K as soon an your company offers it to you start! Even if you don't think you'll be at that job forever, the worst that can happen is you have money put away. Also when you start your first job is when you should start your first savings account! You will thank yourself later when you dont have to pay on that vacation you deserve you can just out right pay for it. 

• Be a Lady- All ladies are women but all women aren't ladies.. There is nothing that stands out more to people than being feminine.. This is actually something I didn't learn until I moved to a major metro area.. 

• Don't stay in a relationship because its "Not bad" and always hold the significant other in your life to a higher standard - You deserve the best always! Yes you there are still men that will open doors and offer his jacket, men who know chivalry and romance isn't dead and they will do the work to get you and keep you happy. Its doesn't mean the relationship is good if you never fight but your never happy..

• Pamper yourself- Sometimes life gets hard, sometimes your job gets stressful or your friends are draining.. This is why you can never forget to make time for you! Rather its getting a massage, buying new makeup, getting your hair done.. make sure you are making time to take care of yourself; mind, body and soul. Because lets be honest, if you don't make the time for YOU no one else will.. 

• There will never be a right time- Life doesn't happen on your schedule, it will never be the right time to leave that job, to move to that state, to start that hobby, you just have to do it and hope for the best! Don't let life pass you by because you didn't think the timing was right go out into the world have adventures, make mistakes and just generally live life! You can always come back home :) 

So now that I've shared some of my advice to my future daughter, I'd like to hear from you! What would you tell your future child? What do you wish you mother told you? Let me know in the comments. 

Girl Code!

So over the holiday weekend my "Girl Code" morals were tested, and it got me to thinking.. what are the tried and true girl code rules that you must always stick to, and which ones are a little fuzzy?!?

I'll start by sharing my story of my GC test.. So I met this guy online (i know right, always a guy) who just so happened to be a guy that a new friend of mine once dated and had recently slept with.. Once we figured out that we were talking to the same guy I was informed that he would be told I would no longer be talking to him.. well of course that wouldn't stop him from contacting me! After some slightly flirtatious (and tipsy) back and fourth I decided that it would be best that I stopped communication, the worst would be if she was the type to go through his phone and saw that we were texting! All of it got me thinking.. would it really be out of line if I had one drink with him? What are the hard and fast rules of girl code? When it is ok to break them? Is it ever ok to break them? After some fierce googling I came across what some would think are the top 10 girl code rules and my thoughts on them, in no order specifically.

•  Figure out your group’s “man rules” before shit happens. - I guess this would have solved all of my issues if done.. When joining or creating a new group of girlfriends no matter the age this conversation must be had! If you have an ex you don't care about sharing let it be known, but if you are still hung up on that ex don't hide it, don't think your friends are supposed to figure it out, be honest and let them know. You will alleviate a lot of confusion down the road. 

• Honesty is the best policy for, “How do I look?” - No one wants to be with the girl that everyone else is thinking "doesn't she have friends" if your friend is looking a hot mess in the most polite way tell her that maybe that isn't the best outfit/hairstyle/makeup for her. The worst thing you can do as a friend is let her go out looking disheveled  however if your friend didn't ask then its harder to offer that advice.. I still haven't quite figured out how to broach this issue myself but no one wants their friend walking around looking a mess! 

• When required, be a wing woman. - bottom line, when your friends need you, you be there for them! 

• Girls shall ALWAYS help other girls escape unwanted attention from guys. - (see above, lol) also we have all been in that situation when we just wished someone would swoop down and save us from what ever looser won't get the idea that your not interested... well when you see your friend in that situation you become the granter of her wishes! 

• Presence is required if a friend has been dumped. - unless you are deathly ill or on a remote island with no internet connection you need to be there for your friend in need, rather its in person with drinks and a lighter (to burn his pictures) or through google hangout or FaceTime you need to find a way to be support for your friend.. When you loose the love of your life all you need is booze, sweets and friends! 

• No hating on other women’s success. - When it comes to your friends, their success is your success and should only be celebrated! Nothing else needs to be said. 

• If a girl looks intoxicated and looks like she needs a friend, be her friend. - While the easy route is to point, be judgmental, laugh and tell yourself that its not your problem (especially if she isn't your friend) the very least you could do is go up and ask, "are you ok?". Especially if her friends aren't being great friends! Put yourself in her shoes, if you were drunk in a public place you would be forever grateful for the kind stranger who got you water and patted your back. 

• Be kind during "that time of the month"- It could be something as small as giving a tampon to  a stranger in need or letting your friend have that last piece of chocolate because of her cravings.. 

• All big moments in your best friend's life should be celebrated with dancing and balloons. - All big moments in your friends lives need to be celebrated (balloons not always needed) but rather its a birthday, a promotion, a degree, a new job or anything else it warrants a celebration with friends! 

• Confront your friend when you have a problem with her. -  If she is really your friend you want to be sure to address and fix any issues with your friends in person. Don't be passive aggressive, don't post statuses on fb or tweet about it, don't go to other friends in your group. Talk to your friend face to face, or on the phone (no text!) and let her know what she did and why it bothered you. You and your friend will be forever grateful! 

Where there you have it! While I know there are hundreds of girl code rules (check out the MTV series) these are the ones that I have come up with.. let me know in the comments the girl code rules that you have found to be important in your friendships and in life! 

Just a drop in the bucket (list)

Going into the last three months of my twenties I am learning that being married isn't the only thing  I haven't accomplished! I was one of those women that had her whole life planned out, I knew I wanted to go straight from High School to College (BA completed in 2006) I wanted to jump right into the work force, meet a man by age of 24 get married, travel the world with my husband and start a family before the age of 30. Never the less here I am, single, un travelled and looking at life experiences that i haven't yet experienced! There is no more waiting for the perfect time, no more waiting until everything else is where I want it to be, time to start taking control of my life and doing all those things I have always wanted to do! Hell I may even add some new things to the list! So here is where I will start my (running) bucket list! I will add completion dates and hold myself accountable. This isn't one of those 30 things to do by 30 types of things but a list of things I want to complete in life in general..

This list is in no particular order so instead of numbering it I will just do bullet points:

• Go on a cruise 
• Take a fun cooking or mixology class 
• Zipline 
• Go to the gun range 
• Take a hot air ballon ride 
• Go on Safari in Africa 
• Go Horseback riding 
• Go skydiving 
• Travel to at least 10 different countries 
• Have at least 1 child (ideally 2) 
• Get married 
• Go to a horse race 
• Go Paint balling (6/28)
• Loose 30 pounds (from the weight I am currently) 
• Volunteer more 
• Visit all 50 states 
• Attend at least one live game for every professional sport 
• Travel solo
• Get a passport (2/14) 
• Own a home 
• Start Blogging (3/14)
• Let go of toxic one sided friendships (I think 5/14)
• See a show on broadway 
• Go on a White House tour 
• Attend a major event in a foreign country (so many to list) 
• Go rock climbing (indoor 1/14)  
• Stomp grapes at a vineyard 
• Go back to school 
• Get certified in something random 
• Go on a cross country road trip 
• Learn how to swim
• Ride in a helicopter 
• 
  

Here is the start of my list.. whats on yours? 

And I thought women were the crazy ones!

Throughout my life I have always been told by my male friends that the women in their lives were crazy... That last relationship ended because she was nuts... But I am learning through recent dating experience that its not us ladies, its them! Men these days are absolutely nuts! I am not making this statement because of one crazy man I have come across but because there have been multiples.. I have learned that mens crazy isn't even subtle, you would think men would be the lay low, on the sly a little crazy but your not sure if its over protective ness or crazy. But NOPE I have experienced some out and out crazy that one would think they would only experience from "single white female" types of women.

At first I thought it was harmless pick up lines, guys telling me how into me they are without even having met me, or how meant for each other we are before the first date. Then I took a step back and looked at the crazy behavior, if a woman were to exhibit any of these they would be labeled as a "Stage 5 clinger" lol.

Example #1- met a guy online, we talked on a popular dating site for about three days.. he then asked me if we could be in an exclusive relationship (weird) I asked if we could at least meet first.. After our first "date" he called me 10 mins after we departed ways to ask if we could then be in an exclusive relationship. If the tables were turned a it was a woman who was as pushy to be in a relationship she would be labeled as needy, desperate and crazy!

Example #2- met a guy in person, within the first three days he started to ask me when I was ready to start a family. During our first meeting he was basically counting my eggs and setting up dates to have them implanted. In one conversation HE planned how many children we would have (1 as he felt he was getting "older"), planned our next vacation, started tracking miles stones (in which we have had none) and asked me to go house hunting with him.. I've heard men talk about how quick women are to "trap" a man but this sounds like the complete opposite!

Example #3- started talking to another guy online... we talked for a week then exchanged numbers, we never had 1 single phone conversation and then I started to get more messages (online) about how much he missed me.. I'm sorry I know I'm fabulous (i kid, i kid) but how can you miss me and you don't even know my full first name (I only sent him a nickname)?!?!

I could go on and on and probably will in another post but for now share your clingy, crazy, moving to quickly men stories with me in the comments!